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1. |
Gimme All The Sauces
01:35
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Tzatziki
Sweet
Hummus
Hot
Gimme all the sauces
I want the spicy carrots up my nose
Look at those olive, I want all of those
Give me the onions and jalapenos
All of the sauces, that's the way I roll
Donair, donair
Get inside me now
Get inside me now
Mega Donair the largest in BC
Could be the biggest in the whole country
So many sauces it's a saucing spree
Filled up my card and now I get one free
Donair, donair
Get inside me now
Get inside me now
Donair, donair
Get inside me now
Get inside me now
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2. |
Jessie's Song
02:16
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Jessie don't you know
You're talented, smart, and beautiful
So you got a C
It doesn't mean you fail geometry
You can't let your mom and dad down
No matter what it takes
Stanford is at stake
You've got to stay awake
Jessie now's your chance
Show the world that you can sing and dance
The producer likes you best
This is not the time for you to rest
You can't let the other girls down
No matter what it takes
This is your big break
You've got to stay awake
1-2-3-bend
Put your mind to it
1-2-3-stretch
Go out and break a sweat
1-2-3-bend
Put your mind to it
1-2-3-stretch
You ain't seen nothin' yet
You can't lay your pretty face down
No matter what it takes
Your future is at stake
You've got to stay awake
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3. |
The Ted Danson Plane
02:51
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How 'bout we take a flight to France
The plane will crash and we'll poop our pants
Just kidding that'll never happen to us
Because we've got our own show, oh no
This is a real piece of junk
I thought it would be much nicer
I want the Ted Danson plane
Kramer stop jumping around
There's water in my ear and I can't get it out
It's just not safe you big idiot
And now we're going down
This is a real piece of junk
I thought it would be much nicer
I want the Ted Danson plane
The pilots are back
And we are safe
Let us not go on adventures again
This is a real piece of junk
I thought it would be much nicer
I want the Ted Danson plane
This is a real piece of junk
Get on the phone tell NBC
To send the Ted Danson plane
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4. |
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No money job or food
On the day that I met you
You flew to aspen and out of my life
Gotta get out of this town
I'm California bound
Return your briefcase and make you my wife
I'm sick of not paying my bills on time
I'mheading where beer flows like wine
Convince my friend to ride with me
Escort your luggage cross country
We've lost our jobs but I know what to do
Return it full of I owe you's
We made friends and enemies
On our way to the Rockies
John Denver's full of shit, or I drove east
Redeemed myself and traded our dog
Straight up for some kid's hog
Got a makeover, brand new suit
A Lamborghini with Mary's loot
I feel bad but I'll make it right
When I marry Mary Samsonite
Harry, your hands are so damn cold
But that's nothing compared to your frozen heart and soul
You monster, you'll get what's coming to you
Turbolax is my prescription, one hefty spoon
Your anal pain's entirely in vain
The future Mary Christmas, wears a wedding ring
What was all that one in a million talk
When I told you I like you a lot
I wish you well, I wish you joy
I want to make love
To a school boy
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5. |
The Summer of Shafe
01:24
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Our album was almost done
The summer of Shafe had just begun
So he hopped on a motor bike
Hit the gas and went for a ride
He did a backflip off a cliff
Fucked up his wrist
This caused our band some major harm
Now our bass player has one arm
We had 2 shows booked
But what can we do when our captain is hooked?
Then Shafe came up with a plan
"I'll play keyboard bass with my good hand"
We played the shows, as the legend goes
And the audience held their noses
But their hate didn't break our passionate faith
celebrating the Summer of Shafe
We played the shows, as the legend goes
And security used their hoses
But their hate was too late and the party was great
Celebrating the Summer of Shafe
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6. |
Mega Donair
00:45
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7. |
Pigeon Lady
02:02
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I don't have many friends
But I have my pigeons
They hang with me all day
I look weird but that's okay
I have a surprise
It's birdseed in the eyes
You sticky guys won't get my friend Kevin
Take this turtle dove
Our friendship strong as love
I must go find my family
And eat some christmas ham-ily
Or a plain cheese just for me
Bought with my dad's money
I won't forget you pigeon lady
Kevin, run
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8. |
Piss In a Can
02:39
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We're going to hit the town tonight
Have some fun, really do it right
Watch the game
Drink Bud Light
Scope some babes
Pick a fight
But I want hops
And I want malt
Not a urine flavour assault
I can't understand
Drinking piss from a can
When Colin's on his fifth or sixth
(Or fifty sixth)
I'm on my first, cause I've been tasting it
PBR, none for me
It tastes like someone took a shit in Kokanee
I want hops
And I want malt
Not a fecal flavour assault
I can't understand
Drinking piss from a can
And you won't see me puke
(Like Steve Duke)
At least not from alcohol abuse
He's passing out with a grin
(In sweat stained skin)
I will never be Colin
I can't understand
I can't understand
I just can't understand
Drinking piss
Drinking piss from a can
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9. |
HOLO
01:14
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I'm not as angry as I sound
I'm just trying to earn my crown
Joining these three
Idiot royalty
Get on your knees, bow down
What the hell?
What's going on?
Why is he singing this song?
He just yells, far as I can tell
Fuck it, here's another HOLO
Not as angry as I seem
I'm the new guy on the team
Shoes of the Duke
Won't be filled by fluke
But with HOLO's and Hogie screams
What the hell?
What's going on?
Why is he singing this song?
He just yells, far as I can tell
Fuck it, here's another HOLO
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10. |
Mega Donair (Reprise)
00:29
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11. |
#Selfie
03:16
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Quick get your makeup right
It's time to put it on the line
Get it online, get it on
Twit the pin, the book, the grin
(Show some skin)
The emptiness of everything
(Show everything)
That's on the screen and like a dream
(Like a dream)
Is real only when you make believe
Another selfie, to keep you seen
Quick get your filter right
It's time to put it on the line
Post it up, post it
Smile and rep and flex a cep
(Flex a cep)
Look powerful and cool and hip
(Cool and hip)
Swimming in a sea of likes
(Seems so nice)
From people who you don't see in real life
Please click like
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12. |
Shitbat
03:21
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I miss his mellow purr
The smell of his fur
I miss his hunger for every food
I miss his blue eyes
The way his tail would rise
I miss saying "Hi Theo, I'm home"
Goodnight sweet prince, enjoy the ride
I'll meet up with you on the other side
Goodnight sweet prince, your time has come
Wherever you go I hope you have fun
I miss his selfishness
How fast he cleaned his dish
I miss eating fish and sneaking him some
I miss those lazy days
When we'd just chill and blaze
I miss the thousand ways that he would sleep
Goodnight sweet prince, enjoy the ride
I'll meet up with you on the other side
Goodnight sweet prince, say hi to Al
I bet the two of you will be great pals
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YOU BIG IDIOT Vancouver, British Columbia
Fast, Fun, and Dumb...that's
YOU BIG IDIOT
Skate punk from Vancouver, Canada.
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